Oh the Humility!

This entry has nothing to do with house renovation but serves as a warning to what can happen when your 3 year old has a tantrum in a grocery store.

Today, Elizabeth took offense to the word "No". It's not like she had never heard that word before. It is one of the most used words in our daily vocabulary. I entered a local Meijer store with my daughter to pick up 4 items. Milk, cheese, cereal and you guessed it, beer! After getting the beer, Elizabeth decided she wanted out of the cart and tried to stand up. A few sharp "No"s and she started screaming at the top of her lungs. "I want out!", "Let me out!" were two of her initial cries. At the milk section she stood up so I put her on the ground where she tried to run off. I grabbed her and put her over my shoulder so I could push the cart. Only cheese and cereal to go. "Put me down!", "Let me go!" she screams repeatedly. (You can see where this is leading, right?). I grab the cheese. "I don't want to go (home)!", "Put me down!" I smile as I pass the other customers staring at us. One old lady said "She needs a good spanking!" to which I replied "She will get one, but not here." More of this through the cereal aisle and another 5 minutes at the checkout. She could be heard throughout the store. Her cries are now "I want to ride the horsie!" I get her to the car and she won't get in. She won't sit down in her seat. Five minutes of this and she got put over my knee and spanked once behind the car door. Didn't work. Another two minutes and she gets another smack on on the bottom and one more. Doesn't work. Now there are Meijer employees with radios watching me from the entry doors and more cart attendants in the vicinity than I have ever seen before. It pays to be observant of your surroundings. "Now look Elizabeth, people think I'm stealing you and they probably called the police." I said to her. The screaming continues so I shut the back door and sit on the passenger seat with the door open. Some lady approaches and asks if she can be "blunt"
"Sure, be blunt" I reply.
"Is this your daughter?"
"Uh-huh!"
"She is having a coniption fit?"
"Uh-huh, and you are?"
She states here name, some child related job and that she was a concerned customer then goes away. Elizabeth screams some more "I want to ride the horsie!", "I don't want to go home!"
The police arrive. A female officer.
"Come here little girl."
"I want to ride the horsie" she says.
" What's that? You don't want to go with this man?" states the officer.
"That isn't what she said." I interject "She wants to ride the horsie."

Well once the officer realized that she wanted to ride the horsie and she referred to me as "Daddy" several times she knew that this was my child and I wasn't beating the crap out of her, all was well. She didn't even check for ID. Eventually we got Elizabeth in her seat but she screamed the whole way home and even more at home. For a complete hour she screamed. From 5PM to 6PM. She was put in her bed without any supper and has been asleep ever since! Could you imagine my plight had I attempted to drive away from the store. I would have been pulled over, searched and most likely released after much questioning. So, for all you daddies out there. If your child has a tantrum in a large store where there are hundreds of people as witnesses and your wife isn't with you, I suggest that you don't smack your child in full view and take your time leaving in case the police were called. If I were a woman this would have been different. I will not be shopping alone with my child again for many years. If I were a younger man, I wouldn't have the patience that I have now so there are advantages to waiting until you are older to have children. Of course there are advantages to not having children too!